It's time again to pick a mate for Went because he just won't do it himself. We have 15 choices this time...Can you pick just one? I know I can't!
1. Jensen Ackles
JENSEN Ackles
JENSEN ACKLES
Sorry I lost it for a second there. Jensen is the hottie from Supernatural and Dean's short sleeve shirts, sarcasm, smirk and muscle car just add to Jensen's natural appeal. I have an even deeper love for him because of this Wensen slash. Jensen. Is. Hot.
2. Sarah Michelle Gellar
Who requested this one? See, don't say I never did anything for you. If only for the role she played in Cruel Intentions, this girl gets a vote. She may have been the sexiest, most evil, teenage whore to ever appear on screen and it was fan-fucking-tastic. Great pose Shelly; Love the whip.
3. Takeshi Kaneshiro
Takeshi...All wet. Takeshi. I just like saying that name out loud. I don't even think I'm pronouncing it correctly but I say it anyway...Tah-Kee-Shee. He is hella fine and I absolutely loved him in House of Flying Daggers. Hey Takeshi: I came back...For you.
4. Sanaa Lathan
Hey! It's my girl Sanaa from Nip/Tuck who got booted off the list the last time for Angie Harmon since Wentworth Miller's needs always come first. This time however, I made sure she made it. Isn't she beautiful? She's smart too.
5. Jonathan Rhys Myers
AND
Cillian Murphy
Jon and Cillian are what I like to call scary sexy because if they were on top of you, you wouldn't know if they were gonna fuck you or kill you. They share a spot for this very reason. Very beautiful boys with talent these two. I submit Match Point and Breakfast on Pluto as proof of this.
6. Katherine Heigl
Now I know I watched Roswell. I was an X-Files fan so it only made sense for me to. Roswell was the show that first introduced me to the wonderfulness that is Dido. But for the life of me, I do not remember Katherine Heigl. I do however remember her from That Night (one of my favorites). But anyway, Thank Goddess for Grey's Anatomy. She's so pretty and I love her character. It would not be a KH pic without the boobs. She's got nice ones.
7. Tyson Beckford
I love models. My lover models. I don't know what it is about them. I guess it's the voyeur in me that likes to watch...Like when he comes walking into the room naked after a shower and I pretend to be watching TV when I'm really watching him dry off and oil up before he climbs into bed. *Note to self: Call lover. Get laid.* I'm also a pose whore. You can have absolutely no talent whatsoever; I can hate you even, but if you're attractive, photogenic and can strike a nice pose, my panties will be off before you can say hello. Tysons' hotness and Wentworths' pretty...I'm sorry I just lost consciousness for a minute. Trois 2: Pandora's Box. Watch. Tyson. In. That. Movie. Then you will understand.
8. Salma Hayek
Salma takes the #2 spot for sexiest woman alive in my opinion. I think we've established Monica Bellucci as #1 with extremely honorable mention going to Juliette Marquis...So much hotness...Salma has a beautiful face, a coke bottle body with fabulous curves and a great accent. Just imagining her saying the name Wentworth makes this pairing cute. I know you can't really see her face in this pic but it's a FABULOUS shot.
9. Edgar Ramirez
When I saw him in that Laundromat in his little underwear putting his hair in a ponytail and speaking all that sexy fucking Spanish in Domino I wanted to JUMP THROUGH THE SCREEN. The movie was stimulating enough without me getting wet every time he was shown or opened his mouth. Domino was one of the worst reviewed movies of its year (at least it was on rottentomatoes.com), but I loved it and I'm not ashamed to say so. I went ahead and made a clip of the scene that made me fall for Edgar. So sexy.
10. Angelina Jolie
Forget Brad, he's old news; Went is where it's at girl! I miss the old Angie: the bisexual, blood vile wearing crazy I came to know and love. Growing up fucking sucks. And while I think that Angelina-Went spawn would start a super race of people so hot they'd blind others with their visual brilliance, I could live with that.
11. Ryan Phillippe
Hey, he's newly single and here's another performance in Cruel Intentions that I loved madly. I salivated all through that movie at Sebastians' delicious wickedness. So let's see Ryan, if you (maybe) go both ways and Went (maybe) does too then I guess there's hope for you two yet. Shit, if the media can try and claim a Jake and Reese pairing (ick! The ONLY person I want to see Jake with, is Austin), I can claim this one. You heard the (fake) news here first. See it turns out, Reese left Ryan because she caught him with Went...What a sight that would have been...Ryan is cute but he looks like an asshole so hopefully Went would be rough with him and smack him around a little. That would make me feel better.
12. Kristin Kreuk
The hot chick from Smallville that I have liked since I first laid eyes on her and if we're talking Smallville hotness, I guess you could add Tom Welling under here too...OK I will!
Lots of hotness on that show. Hmmm, he and Cillian favor a little. Anyway back to Kristin
She has that angelic look like Went has sometimes that can make her go either way: Part slut, part virgin. An enigma.
13. Gale Harold
I'm not even going to explain this one. If you've ever seen Queer as Folk, you would definitely understand. He is so beautiful and such a great actor. He played the hell out of Brian Kinney and I will love him for it, forever.
14. Nicole Ari Parker
Am I to understand that Wentworth has expressed an admiration for Nicole as well as Angie? My question then is, When Went calls you beautiful, why is his representation NOT your next call? If he said "Fuck off" to me I'd propose! You bitches are crazy. Anyway, yeah she's pretty and stuff, but not too bright.
15. Orlando Bloom
Although he likes to fuck skeletons, he was Legolas. Did you hear me? HE. WAS. LEGOLAS. That gives him a lifetime worth of passes for making movies that will never measure up to Lord of the Rings, for not going permanently blond in honor of the best Trilogy of all time, and just about anything else from now until the end of time. He is SO pretty and he'd make a great bottom.
OK so who did I forget THIS time?
