Thursday, December 14, 2006

OK I admit it; I'm Wentworth Miller's Ex-Wife and I'm a Vampire



Hi. You may know me as WFW but my real name is Alison Billingsley. It used to be Alison Miller but the name I would prefer for you to call me is Mrs. Wentworth Miller, thanks. It has come to my attention that someone has discovered my secret and posted it on Wikipedia (check the last sentence under Personal Life). Yes, we were married in 2004 and the marriage was annulled so there won't be a record of it. See that pic above? If you google my name, that's what you get. I'm such a gorgeous vampire. My being a vampire is the whole reason we broke up...

You see, Went and I met in a park. He was taking a shortcut home from Starbucks one evening and I saw him and intended to kill him and you know, drink his blood and stuff, but then he started talking and he was so super cute and funny that I decided against it. He asked me out and I said yes. Our first date was a trip to the beach. Went looks really great with a tan. Oh that whole Vamps can't go out in the sun thing: totally not true. That you believe it makes you humans much easier to kill in the daytime. I had a nice snack in the bathroom that day. Anyway, the sex was so good we got married the next day. If sex was an earthquake, this one would have been off the richter scale because it would have ended the world. Yeah, he's that good.

Our relationship was hot and heavy and only lasted a few months. Yeah, he mentions me in interviews. He still loves me; I know he does. And eventhough he won't return my phone calls because of that unfortunate biting incident (the scar on his lip...I had spent several days with him and was not able to feed and we were kissing and I just, fuck, Went, I'm SO sorry), we were so perfect together! One of these days he's going to call me up and say "Alison, I still love you. I don't care that you're a Vampire, just come back to me and please never bite me again." Until then, let's just keep this a secret between us OK? I'd hate for it to get out of hand and turn into this really big rumor cuz you know those things never die! Kinda like me. I gotta fly but I just thought I'd clear that up for the people who were trying to solve the mystery. I wonder if Went is ever going to figure out that the bat on the set that no one can get rid of is really me...