Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving! Things I'm Thankful for: Wentworth Miller Edition

Thanksgiving is a very special day in the US of A and for all my non-American friends (which would be most of you) I will sum up the holiday thusly: Today we celebrate the Pilgrims' sit down meal with the Native Americans. It's really just a day to eat way too much, spend time with family and friends, maybe watch some football or movies and generally be together one day before the most popular shopping day of the year, Black Friday. It's called Black Friday because despite the fact that a company may be going bankrupt on Thanksgiving day, a good Black Friday haul can take them from red to black, just like that. One of the very few instances in the English language where the color black actually has a positive association. I did the Black Friday shopping thing one year in North Carolina and almost got security called on me by a power hungry queen for trying to take a Cabbage Patch doll for my niece off of the display before 5 am; Yes, it is really THAT SERIOUS people. I thought about smacking him but somehow, the thought of jail in the south didn't appeal to me. I did however manage to get all of the other items not available for sale until 5, put them in a cart covered with coats, and strategically navigate the store to avoid the employees' suspicious glares. When I don't sleep all night after coming from a club in which I had to run for my life several times and go back to my hotel room half drunk and change my clothes for power shopping, you bet your ass I'm gonna leave with every damn thing I came for, and I did. I say all that to say that normally, I stay the hell out of the stores on Black Friday. I mean unless you need electronics, there really is no point in going, but I had that one year and I will always have the memories...Of long lines, people running into stores like idiots trying to make sure they get one of the outrageously discounted electronics that were in limited supply, standing outside in the cold and generally being around people who are getting on my nerves. I hate people. Why do think I blog so much? That is an activity I can do alone, that's why.

You non-Americans aren't missing much, except a couple of days off of work and enough turkey to make sandwiches from now until Spring thaw. There is another tradition that unless you are watching a Thanksgiving special on TV, only exists in the arts and crafts projects of school kids, and that is giving thanks. When was the last time we had to make a list of the things we were thankful for? I mean past the age of 10...Yeah that's what I thought. So in the spirit of this holiday, and for the record, I'd celebrate ANY holiday that gets me off of work, I am going to do a little show and tell of what I'm thankful for, Wentworth Miller style. I'll be using pics collected almost exclusively from members of The Church. They do love their pic spam over there and I LOVE them for it. In fact, the rest of this post is going to be nothing but glorified pic spam, but I'm cool with that. Now for 20 the things I'm thankful for:

1. Wentworth Miller's Face

He has a perfect face that works every expression. Blue Steel, the smile, the brood, the angst, this face can do it all. Just look at those lips, the beautiful eyes, that jawline, shouldn't someone be sculpting this?

2. Wentworth Miller's Hands

I know that it is incredibly hard to concentrate on those long, slender fingers in this pic when he looks so ridiculously hot, but this is for the hand whores. Those of you with hand fetishes that scour pictures to see whether Went has had a manicure and who obsess about the shape of his hands. Wentworth has some fantastic fingers and fingers are for fingering...things...

3. Wentworth Miller's Feet

How often do those feet make an appearance? Not all that much! So this pic is all about the celebration of his feet. You foot fetish people are weird as hell, but this is for you! They're so...BIG...and you know what they say about big feet...

4. Wentworth Miller's Mole

There is a lovely mole on the left side of his face...and I want to lick it.

5. Wentworth Miller's Ass

My GOOOOOOOD, look at that ass! No really, LOOK at it. His ass is perfectly round. It's phenomenal.

6. Wentworth Miller's Wave

That regal wave says, "Although I am completely embarrassed right now, you still have permission to worship me." He is the hotness.

7. Wentworth Miller in Bondage

I like to see Went...restrained. Tie him up, handcuff him, just give me more Went in bondage. I can imagine the photoshoot right now...*drooling uncontrolably*

8. Wentworth Miller's Hair

Whether it's straight, curly, wavy, or shaved, his hair, like him, is hot. It doesn't even have to be on his head to be hot. Check out the belly hair...That. Is. Sexy. If you look closely, you can even see a bit peeking out of his armpit.

9. Wentworth Miller's Torso

Went has one of those swimmers bodies. Check out that torso. I just want to wrap my arms around it and cover it with soft kisses.

10. Wentworth Miller's Intellect

We know he's smart so we need more photoshoots of him with books. They could call it: Wentworth Miller, making reading sexy, one book at a time.

11. Wentworth Miller's Voice

His voice is audio porn. He doesn't even have to be using words as Keena's updated audio shows us. Enjoy it, over and over and over again. I know I did.

12. Wentworth Miller's Wit and Charm

One need only read or watch one of his interviews to realize just how dreamy Wentworth really is. When asked on Jimmy Kimmel if he would continue the tradition of naming the sons in his family Wentworth, he said "You know, I think enough is enough. I might give it to him as a middle name and the first name is like, Jimmy." That was SO cute. *fangirl sigh*

13. Wentworth Miller's Acting Ability

Check out the lip quiver. It's Dramatically Delicious!

14. Unphotoshopped Vintage Wentworth

Vintage Wentworth...No photoshop...No touching up...And still hot as hell.

15. Wentworth Miller's Fashion Sense

Whether it's his stylist or himself, the boy wears some shit that makes most of us raise our eyebrows. The thing is, his hotness ALWAYS overpowers his clothes. It's like a cosmic joke.

16. Wentworth Miller in a Tux

All dressed up, he always looks soooooo handsome. This is one of my top 5 favorite Went pics of all time. It's awesome.

17. Soaking Wet, Nearly Naked, Wentworth

Does this one REALLY require a comment?

18. Wentworth Miller in Black and White

In my very first post I called him King of the black and white photo. Things have not changed. There's something about Went in black and white that is just sexy on an astronomical level.

19. Wentworth Miller's Poses

Check out that spectacular lean. Whether it's hands on hips, hands on head, hip lean to the side, or straddling a chair, he nails it every time and always manages to give us the "Come Fuck Me" eyes.

20. Wentworth Miller's General Red-fucking-Hotness

How many people do you know that are walking around in an airport and are just NATURALLY this hot? No one but Went. Thank you beautiful man gods and Happy freaking Thanksgiving everyone! I'm going to go eat now...