Well hello! I don't think we've ever been formerly introduced. I'm Wentworth Miller's Chest Hair; How are you? I'm good now that I can breathe and all. I need air which is why Went always has his shirt open but not too much or I'll catch cold. Anyway, I came by to talk about the whole gay thing. Went's treasure trail to The Precious is the go between for ALL the good gossip so "the trail" as I like to call it, is blabbing again and I can't keep a secret so here it is...
According to the trail, the only thing he's heard about being anywhere near The Precious is Went's hand so although he's a superstar, he doesn't seem to be getting any. Don't believe the hype about that Beigette girl. The way I hear it she's a frigid bitch but don't tell anyone I said that OK? I have a reputation to protect. I'm friendly, not overly bushy, soft to the touch, some even say I'm adorable...I can't possibly be associated with any kind of negativity. It's just not me. Went not getting any is a shame really as I love to be stroked and I'm not the only one. When Went gets laid, we all win. So there you have it. Neither hide nor hair of girl nor boy has been seen in so long, the precious pubes are actually jealous of ME! Imagine that! I do get a lot of attention but it was me who got mutilated all last season for those stupid fake tattoos. Bad memories...
I also overheard Went saying that he wasn't gay, but guess what? He didn't say he was straight so fanboys, don't lose hope. Personally, I like being stroked by anyone. All I need is love! Well, I'm out of here. Have a great day, oh the trail says to tell you hello and the precious pubes keep chanting "fall into the gap." Not sure what that's about...
