Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Wentworth Miller: Your Hiatus Checklist

1. Call me

I've given you my number twice now. A lesser woman might see this as rejection but I think you just haven't gotten around to it yet, so get on that would you?

2. Rest

Oh, you poor baby, you work so much...You need downtime! Sleep, for a couple of weeks. Order takeout, watch TV, and just stay in bed.

3. Call me!

Wait, already said that ummm, Meet me at the top of the Empire State Building? I know it's very Sleepless in Seattle of me to ask but I promise it will be An Affair to Remember. Oh and about that proposal, what is your answer?

4. Read scripts

Yes, they're all shite but keep looking. KEEP LOOKING! The one for you is out there; I know it.

5. Get laid

Nice guys need "love" too! See #1. That will lead to #5 and then everybody's happy.

6. Call up some friends and go have a good time

So you don't club? Well do something else! Have a few. Kick back and relax. Go to the beach. Enjoy yourself!

7. Be photographed

You have a couple months off and all that I ask is that I see you walking to the store or to your car or something a few times. It gives us all so much joy to catch little glimpses of you. To you it's an annoyance, to us it's like a game! So, smile for the camera and make someones day.

8. Do at least one talk show

And talk. See, I don't ask much of you. I just want to hear you talk, and see you smile, and watch you move, and feel your breath on my neck...Sorry, lost my way. Yes, just talk and that should be fine.

9. Go see the family

I'm sure they miss you.

10. Release an album

You could sing Happy Birthday to every country and to some common names maybe? I'll give you a hint, my name is under the E's and isn't spelled the traditional way but sounds exactly the same. Go to a local crap shop, look for those mini license plates with people's names on them and look up the E's. Sing Happy Birthday to all of those. One of them is bound to be my name.

Oh Wentworth, I miss you already! *sniff*