Sunday, March 04, 2007

Prison Break Wash 2/26 Live-Blogging Bitchy Recap

Late as hell, here is the recap for Wash. WARNING: I was in a bad mood.

That's what I'm talking about. First shot is of Wentworth Miller. Mmmmmm Wentworth. We can see the tape is playing but we can't hear anything. Sara says "Oh My God." OK I'd like to hear the tape too you know. What is this, the new what is Big's real name conspiracy? Am I going to hear the tape in the last episode of the show? What is on the fucking tape? And why does it look like someone faded Went's hair too much on one side? Maybe it's the lighting. I need a nap.

Mahone is red xing the con's pictures and reminding the FBI, and us, who is left to catch/kill. Yeah like I don't remember but it's oddly calming to see Abruzzi's face again. I miss him. Bellick shows up mid-speech looking for his reward money. Mahone takes him into his office and threatens the shit out him "If you ever come to my office again, not only will you never see the cash, you'll never see another sunrise." That's what I like to see baby! Mahone gives him his new assignment: Sucre.

Back to the three musketeers. They're trying to figure out what to do with the tape. Linc is yelling again. They decide they need to call Jane, Aldo's bud, the one watching LJ. Formerly head-butt girl. I am just learning her name.

Kellerman is buying a sniper rifle, lol, he's gonna do some killin. I love you Kellerman. The car trunk rifle salesman tells him that the rifle has been tampered with to fool ballistics and the serial numbers have been removed in case he won't be shooting at tin cans and Kellerman says "No I'm hunting bigger game than that." *chuckling* Then Kellerman kills the salesman. Someone should really count how many people have died in this show. I'd like to see that figure.

Awww look at the glimpses of Season 1 Michael in the credits. So cute.

Marky Mark's new movie might be kind of good but I don't know if I'd pay for it. The new Mac and PC commercial is funny as usual and not just b/c I'm an Apple whore. The Wedding Bells? They make some dumb ass shows. Finally PB is back; I fucking hate commercials.

C-Note is posting on trying to get Mike to contact him. Mahone is getting impatient. Does C-Note really think Mike gives a flying fuck about him? Now if it was Sucre, he'd come through.

A phone rings and LJ picks up. Linc is calling and he's being all fatherly. See I want to see more of this Dom. Linc is telling him it's almost over and he can come get him but LJ just wants to stay where he is and have a somewhat normal life. Linc is hurt. Awww, good acting Dom!

T-bag has shown up at a Psychiatrist's office. HAHAHAHAHAHHA

Jane gave them a name: Cooper Green and Michael calls. He gets a secretary that tells him Cooper isn't available until he drops Aldo's name. Oh Went you have such a sexy voice I can't concentrate. The secretary connects the call to Cooper and Mike sets up a meeting. Sara says good luck and holds his hand, I know MiSa is squeeing but I am not feeling the sexual tension AT ALL. I have better chemistry with my cat. Don't you want him Sara? *singing* Don't you want him ohhhhhhhhh!

Sara goes to her Dad's grave and the guy she called (way back when) at the beginning of the season for help at the payphone (right before the other lady who looked like her was shot dead in a pretty awesome drive-by scene) just happens to be there. He's been waiting for her to show up. He didn't tip anyone off and he wants Sara to trust him.

Bellick is back to talk to Sucre's cousin again but not to threaten this time. He is offering a transfer to a minimum security prison for Sucre's location. Seriously Sucre, you're hot and all, but that new prison looks tight. I think you're toast.

Sucre and Maricruz are pulling up to his Aunt's house. Awww the happiness. I want Sucre to get away.

T-bag is spilling his guts and he's weepy. Awww T-bag. And here it comes: He didn't really plan to talk to him once he got into his office. He saw an ad with his face on it at the bus stop and thought they looked similar. He wants his identity and now he's bludgeoning him to death.

I might see Premonition and Black Snake Moan is a definite must see. I'm such a movie whore. OK enough with the fucking commercials. Are you smarter than a 5th grader, lol. Probably not...

Cooper Green goes to answer the ringing payphone and it's Linc. Linc tells him to toss his suit jacket in the trash. Then he tells him to be at the phone on the other side of the park in 4 minutes. Cooper starts to run and Linc spots a tail and calls Michael. Linc tells him to get into the fountain. It's so good to see Michael's beautiful brain working again. We know this is all his doing. After Cooper gets out of the fountain a kid walks up to him and hands him a phone. He says someone paid him $20 to give the phone to first wet guy he sees. If brains were penises...Michael's brain is so hot. Cooper answers the phone and Linc tells him to go into the building and stay on the phone for instructions. One of the men following him answers his phone and it's Kim. The guy tells Kim where they are and that they have people around back. Fucking Kim.That's why your face is fucked up. Kim immediately calls Mahone to tell him where to go to get Michael and then tells him he can get rid of C-Note. Awww C-Note.

Mahone tells C-Note that he's a good man and a good father but he doesn't need him anymore and that he will still make sure that his wife stays out of jail and that his daughter is cared for as long as he does what he asks.

"I'm gonna keep my promise to you and I'm gonna help your family but I'm gonna need your help too and this is something that you're not gonna wanna do and I don't want you to do this but I need you to do this and if you don't I will have Kacee arrested again and I will have Dede's medical care stopped and I will hate myself and it'll make me sick but I swear to God I will ruin their lives don't make me."
Holy Shit Fitchner! Fantastic delivery. C-Note wants to know what the hell he's talking about. "Later today you'll get a package from me, I want you to use it." Mahone walks out with C-Note screaming after him wanting to know what's in the package. Good scene.

Linc is still giving Cooper directions. Cooper, that's a stupid name. Cooper is in the basement now.

Sara is with her dad's old friend and he takes her to Cooper Green. Wait what?

The man who says that he's Copper Green is walking into the room that Michael's in as Sara frantically calls Linc to tell him that the man Michael is with is not Cooper Green! SUSPENSE!

Fucking commercials. Yay 24 is next!

Linc is running like hell to get to Michael. Faux Cooper Green is trying to coax the tape away from Michael but Michael is still questioning him. FCG says he's asthmatic and needs to get back to the car. He's trying to rush him and it works. By the time Linc gets to the room they were in, they're gone. Michael tells FCG that his mom was an asthmatic and asks what he uses in his inhaler and FCG is getting tired of the questions. Mike tells him this is the last one. FCG picks one of the three choices and it looks like it was right as they start to walk on but wait! AHAHAHAHHA it was wrong and Mike is kicking ass again. He falls behind him just enough to ram his head into a wall and then he kicks him. Oh Went I love it when you're violent. *cackling* Here comes Linc right on time.

T-bag is buying a ticket to Bangkok. Why the fuck is he going to Bangkok? There are no direct flights, he will have to connect. His bag with the 5 mil in it is over the carry on weight limit so he has to check it...Uh Oh. As it sails down the conveyor belt, I wonder if we'll ever see it again.

Kellerman is fingering some ammo...Mmmm sexy. He walks into an office to see his sister Christine and it's Maggie from Six Feet Under! I miss SFU *sniff* They get to talking about family and we hear about his horrible family life. He says his father was dead way before his funeral and it was only a formality and that just b/c a woman spits you out her crotch doesn't make her your mother and he calls his mom insane. Wow Paul. Why are you so hot to me right now? Christine is hurt that he left her at 18 and he tells her he's sorry and that he thinks of her everyday. "I'm not the brother you remember." He says he doesn't know the difference between good or bad anymore and that he has to do something that a lot of people are going to think is horrible and he just wants her to remember the brother she grew up with. "You're my sister Christine; I love you." *tears* Awww Kellerman.

Mahone catches up with FCG and he's holding an ice pack to his face. AHAHAHAHA Mahone calls Kim to tell him that the brothers are gone. Mahone is starting to ask questions. He wants to know why the hell they would be 15 min from the prison they escaped from trying to see someone from the Attorney General's Office. Kim is trying to insinuate that they may be after the President and wants to know what his point is and Mahone says "Burrows is innocent?" Uh Mahone, ya think? Kim says "No one is truly innocent and he should know that." Someone please off Kimmy already.

There is a knock at the hotel door and it's Sara with the real Cooper Green. Nice going Sara.

C-Note is receiving his package. He opens it and inside is a rope. Holy Shit.

Commercial for 300. Yeah baby, 300 and Paley in the same day. I'll already have cum in my panties by the time I see Went from this movie. Yes, I am a geek.

Sucre and Maricruz are in bed. Mmmmm sexy Amaury is shirtless. Sucre feels the baby move. You know, I suspend my disbelief constantly for this show. Sucre, you did not feel the fucking baby move. She's like -2 weeks pregnant and her belly is as flat as the desk I'm typing on. *throwing things at the TV* He's lucky he's cute. Sucre says he's going to be the Capt. of the soccer team. Maricruz says he's gonna have books. Hold up, how do they know it's a boy?

On the plane, Bellick is in coach asking for a meal while T-bag is in first class asking for more champagne. They're on the same plane!

Kacee is visiting C-Note. He wants to know if she forgives him and then starts reminiscing about Dede. Tell Dede she means everything to me and that I'm sorry no matter what. He's crying; I'm crying. This is so sad.

Kellerman is rockin the hell out of that suit and flashing his badge. He kills the secret service agent in his way and sets up his rifle.

Mahone is retracing the steps that FCG took on his get to Michael adventure. OK we all know he's going to figure out where they're staying in like 5 seconds and he does! Surprise Surprise. *rolling eyes*

Cooper Green is ready to help until he realizes the date stamp on the memory key is the date the convo was copied not when the conversation took place so it won't hold up in court.

Mahone is at the hotel and he holds up the pictures of the brothers but they haven't seen them. He holds up Sara's picture and gets the room number.

Cooper Green suggests they blackmail the Pres with the tape. LOL

C-Note has the rope around his neck and says, I love you, as he steps off the bed. *covering eyes* Aaaaaaaaaaaand it's over. I need a drink.